When I first awoke this morning I thought I was awakening from the end of a bad dream. The type that leaves your pillow soaked and your eyes dry. Later I realized that it was not a dream at all, but that I had yesterday become a character in a very sad story. The story was originally about a girl named Meghan Baker who was pretty much perfect in every way and who I had the best fortune to meet in the best kind of way during one of the best times of my life.
Meghan wasn't supposed to die because she was to me, the model of everything a human being ought to be. She was compassionate, considerate, thoughtful, honest, patient, open-minded, strong, smart, kind, and had just the right balance of confidence and humility. She was a traveler and a friend, a good cook and a vegetarian. She was also incredibly pretty.
On the last day of my first trip to Korea, I got incredibly sick. Everyone else was busy, but Meghan walked over in the rain to Adam's house where I was staying. She brought a pot and ingredients and made me an amazing going-away/getting-well soup feast. She wasn't scared that I might get her sick, or put off by the rain, or stressed because she had to work the next day. She was only concerned with being my friend. I hoped that we would be friends forever.
During my second trip to Korea we were having tofu basil sandwiches at one of my favorite cafes in Itaewon when she told me that she had found a lump in her breast. I remember feeling scared but thinking that it had to be okay, because my story would not be written such that someone like Meghan would get cancer.
I find faith to be a fleeting thing.
Meghan died yesterday after fighting cancer for 18 months. She had a painful but beautiful struggle. And being touched by it, I remind myself that my story, though currently sad, is pretty too. Prettier definitely as a result of Meghan having been a part of it. There is no music, but my heart feels as if it is playing the soundtrack to the end of Meghan's life. I listen to it as I take a break from turning pages of law school texts, to instead just letting the pages of my life turn over me.
Meghan's story is written here: http://ms-mae.blogspot.com. I recommend reading from the beginning. It is really an inspiring, beautiful thing that she wrote: http://ms-mae.blogspot.com/2008_07_01_archive.html
For her fanpage, and to pay tribute, visit: http://www.facebook.com/pages/For-the-love-of-Meghan/275219697466. Thank you to those of you who, though you may not have known her personally, were supportive and present during her last few months here.
To donate in lieu of flowers, contact Kelly Shires Breast Cancer Foundation at 1-877-436-6467.
Love,
Melissa
1 comment:
Thank you for your tribute to Meghan. I don't know if we will ever know how many people touched. She did ours and I can see how she did yours. She was a wonderful woman.
Randy and Pam
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